Cuz It's a Pimp Thang

News flash: I now like tomatoes.

Apparently, it is feasible to stay up till all hours talking on the library steps multiple nights in a row after the age of 22 and still adequately represent one's clients in court. I'd get all Derek about the events of the last week (i.e., Derek: "The moon was rising and our spirits joined it. A white flight of seagulls careened noiselessly through the air above us, seemingly celebrating en masse what we both felt stirring -- the dregs of yesteryear's disappointed notions of the nature of being replaced by the sweet concoction we cradled carefully in our hands as we feasted on the goodness of life and sugar"; versus Jessica: "Last night, I ate some cotton candy. A bird pooped on my shoulder."), but I'm having too much fun right now Gizoogling my own website. Yeah, yeah...you all saw this site years ago. But I have a theme party to pimp. (Go Ghetto Fabulous, Saturday evening, Evaristo Avenue, bring your fried chicken and leave your glocks, door prizes for the biggest hoops, details if you want them.) Here in their redacted glory (what's up, Jesus?) are some of my favorite Gizoogled lines from my very own website:

1. "I very much love it here" became "I very much love it here, hittin that booty." Which, true.
2. "Or William Shatner" became "Listen to how a motherBLEEPer flow sh*t. You know how it is ridin' in mah double R."
3. Here Snoop Dogg reaches out to John Cusack: "This year, in particizzles has been a bad one fo` keep'n in touch wit old friends, chill yo."
4. "God said it was vizzle good -- but He's tha only one in mah killa."

So! See you Saturday?! Faaantastic. And Derek, you know I love you...but I do have my moments, jizzy like tha rizzy of us whities (Krishnan, represent).