Greenwich Mean Time

Ah, Greenwich. "What bliss," says Juli, reading over my shoulder in her green peasant top. And rightly so. So far in Greenwich, we've got:

1. Eight luxury car dealerships.
2. Five traffic cops standing in an island of movable white picket fences and, when they are off summering on Hilton Head, stop signs...also behind movable white picket fences.
3. Two movie theaters--independently owned by locals who patrol for feet on the seat during the movie.
4. One French hair salon owner who believeth not in the power of the screen but will, instead, hire an exterminator for basement, three floors of house, and the entire yard.
5. Two town clocks, one shamelessly emblazoned with the Rolex logo.
6. Nineteen million dollars, the cost of the Tiffany's building on the Avenue.
7. Three sisters who call me Peanut and go on and on and on about their trivial spats
8. One standard poodle who loves me passionately and trots upstairs to see me whenever his mother isn't looking.
9. Fourteen police offices patrolling the streets at all hours of the day and night.
10. Thousands of ticks eager to spread Lyme disease.

...marauding roommates who took control of this post against my will whilst I lay pleasurably ensconced in my virginal, mosquito-netted princess air mattress before leaving for a hot date with an entity known in other parts of the world as Josh King (Josh: "Just call me the best thing that's ever happened to you. Here, eat a Twinkie.").

Ah, Greenwich: where the entire city is kept at a comfortable 68 degrees.